I don't know what to do with myself. I'm almost ready to cry but if anyone were to ask me why, I wouldn't know how to explain myself. I'm sad but can't fully understand it, and maybe it's better off that way. If I did know, maybe I'd just be worse. I know in my brain that I've got to be one of the luckiest people in the world, with all I've got going and everyone I have around me, but that can't help the feeling in my heart that just can't understand why nothing ever seems to work itself out. Why I sometimes feel like I'm one of the last ones around. If you'll allow me to be childish for a moment... "It's just not fair!!!"

I think I'm starting to understand why people love running away... when I was away (REALLY away... in Europe away) I didn't feel like this. Not once. It's an escape from reality, in more ways than I had imagined. Now I kinda want to go back.

But I'm sure this will all pass quickly. With plans for the beach this weekend, I'm already starting to feel better. (This is my attempt at cheering up what seems like two consecutive sad/confused posts.)